A brief explination about doing what you love.

Written by Christopher Pentecost on March 2, 2024

Well, tonight we’re going to keep it brief. Or as brief as my long-winded ass can, you know, deal with. I wanted to touch on hobbies. I haven’t had many hobbies. I always had things that I could do that would be cool or that I thought were cool. One of them was Lego. There were a lot of Christmases that I ended up getting Lego sets. I would build it once, be proud, show it off, tear it apart, and then add it to the pile of other Lego and start creating things - rocket ships, cars, anything that would allow my imagination to flow.

I’ve always talked about my love of music, so I don’t think it’s as much of a stretch to find out that I took to music. I was a percussionist in high school. I also sang in the choir. I also ran a couple of my own ensembles. I sang in another choir outside of school. We’ll get back to them in a minute. It was what I wanted to do with my life, but my father didn’t ever want to give his blessing fully. Every time I would say, “Look, this is what I want to do with my life. This is what I want to be - a music teacher, to be specific,” he would always be like, “Oh well, but what happens if it doesn’t happen for you? What happens if you don’t do music or you can’t get into music or you can’t get a job doing music? What do you do?” There were a lot of ideas that I had come up with. Some where I could do music production, be that person who produces artists, engineers, you know, in studios. So I always had secondary plans, but it was always “but what if, what if, what if” to the point I just sort of gave up on music.

In the last year of my high school career, I stuck to only one group, which was a change because I was usually a part of like six groups. I stuck to the percussion ensemble, Batucada, and moved my learning more into English, which is where my wanting this to go to the university and do English lit and creative writing, and we all know how that went. It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that my father got a Christmas present from his brother, my uncle, and it was a Fender Stratocaster. My father seemed very taken aback by such a unique gift from him because normally they didn’t send gifts. It wasn’t until the Merry Christmas phone call that my father learned that that guitar was more of an apology because it was my uncle’s musical debauchery in his youth that led to their mother telling my father that music was never a valid form of work and that he shouldn’t waste his time with that. So that really gave me the insight that maybe it wasn’t him that was sort of telling me that music wasn’t a way to make a living, but that’s what he had been taught by his parents. So I’m not fully ever going to put the blame on my father; he’s just coming from a place that he knew very well.

Nowadays, people are told, “Do what makes you feel good, do something that you enjoy.” I’ve seen a particular Instagram post from a person who deals with self-betterment, and I’ve mentioned it before where you should have six hobbies, and each one should benefit you in a different way. One of the reasons why I started doing this was because I enjoy this sort of exposé-type of writing. I enjoy sharing things with the world, but I also realized today that I sort of miss music and performing music. I bring this up because years ago, I sang in a choir outside of my school. The Amabile Choirs of London are an amazing group of youths into older people alike that get together, rehearse fantastic pieces, and perform. For 2 years, I was a member of the tenor and bass men’s choir. A part of those years, I was also a part of their mixed chamber choir, and I was also a part of the recording of one of the men’s CDs. I enjoyed performing with them very much. I couldn’t afford to stay with them, but I had made connections with a couple of the conductors, and I was able to help them with their own musicals at the schools in which they taught. I would play drums. It was just a great way to continue to do what I enjoyed even on a small little basis. More recently, in the last eight years, I have been house managing for the Amabile Youth Singers, which are conducted by my old conductor, Brenda, and it keeps me involved. Also, in high school, I was involved in sound and lights because what nerd wasn’t a part of the AV club? So I help out where I can, helping do sound, tearing down of stages, making sure everyone’s sort of where they started need to be, you know, in the confines of the performance area, and I enjoy it. It’s not the same enjoyment I get from singing. But even now, there are a lot of things that keep me from being able to dedicate the time to go and rehearse and to join this choir, even though Brenda continues to tell me that she would love to see me back singing, and there’s a big part of me that wishes I could. It’s also a big part of me that says I would love just to be able to afford to have a set of drums and play along to things, just something that keeps me tied to music and the joy it brings me.

So this weekend (and the main reason why this is brief) is because I am house managing their festival in which all the choirs from boys and girls from age 4 all the way up to adults in their 40s and 50s are getting together to perform the compositions of Jacob Narverud. Having been at the dress rehearsal today, his work is fantastic and requires, making it even more so. It’s nice to be surrounded by the beautiful sounds that full choirs give. I’ve always enjoyed the festival because it allows for all ranges from soprano to bass. It is very fulfilling and fantastic, some would say spiritual, which for me is no surprise because I’ve always loved choral music from classical times with religious themes even though I myself am not religious anymore. I can still find the beauty in the words and the phrasing and the harmonies that just permeate through the air while you’re sitting and listening. Yes, I still have a job to do, so I’m sort of listening and sort of making sure I’m doing what I need to be doing and keeping an eye on that. But otherwise, it really does make for a good time.

The one thing I do grapple with is the time away from my family. Even though I know that a small amount of time during the weekend doing these volunteer jobs always makes me feel like I’m missing out or that I’m putting an undue burden on my wife not being here to help because I’m out galavanting and doing things that I enjoy, but I know she understands that this is something I enjoy doing and something I should be doing, just you know, maybe sometimes just to keep my own little sanity. I think where that comes from is that my father, when I was in high school, would do musicals and we would go and see him, but a lot of the time, him performing in musicals would mean he didn’t see me perform. That sort of hurts, to look out and not see both your parents there, but he was doing what he wanted to do, and Mom supported him in it. I just never really want to have my kids feel the same way about me doing something that I enjoy take away from something that they love, and I think that’s the sort of balance that I have to find and be okay with.

I think this is also why when I try to go bike riding, it’s when either everyone’s still asleep in the morning or when everyone is busy doing other things during the day. That way, I don’t feel as if I’m taking away from their time with me. Although who knows, maybe no one wants to hang out with me and they’re more than happy to see me go out the door, but I think that’s the regret that comes with Parenthood and the fact that you have to find a balance between your happiness and the happiness of your family and those around you. I’m still working on that. I don’t think you ever find a true balance - too many moving pieces.

So where do I go with my hobbies? Well, I’m not really going to subject anyone to my singing because I am so out of practice, just not a thing at this moment. But I am planning on hopefully being able to add a Vlog portion to this. I’m hoping to expand, maybe being able to get out and be active with my new job. It gives me a lot of time during the day to hook my GoPro up to my bike and take the scenic route for an hour or two. Maybe I can let my thoughts flow there as well, sort of like how I do this here, but then I wouldn’t need to type it out but also sort of show off what I find awesome about at least in my city with how they have created a bike-friendly atmosphere. I can give people a tour of the wonderful city I live in, maybe also stop at some points of interest or cool shops that I frequent, you know, just be able to get out, get some exercise, be active, but also be informative and also learn a couple more things like video editing. Maybe voice-over editing on these videos as well, so this has sort of become my hobby at the moment and if I take that Instagram post of having many hobbies to help you do things who knows I can use this as one hobby to cover many different aspects one to learn, want to be active. Now if I could just have this help me make money that would be awesome but I’m not there yet nor do I want to be that guy who adds Google AdSense to a blog and then expects whoever comes here to see ads for whatever they were talking about with their significant other because their phone overheard them. I will say if I ever do advertise anything it would be because it is something I use that I have personally bought with my own money and have really good solid connections with like my planner.

So I guess in summary, am I doing what I love? Sort of. I’m finding a love for this and I’m becoming more aware of what I’m finding joy in with this entire process. Are there other things I want to do with it? Yes, and I’m working towards that. So has whatever this is in this blog become a hobby? I would say so. Am I enjoying it? Yes, is it still weird to be standing in my office talking to my computer screen? Absolutely, but I’m okay with it because, well, I’m weird like that. And with the coming of spring, which is about new things and rejuvenation and the beginning of the cycle into summer and fall, I think I’ll be able to add more and different content, and I think that expansion is going to help me be able to focus better on me. To be fair, that’s sort of what all this is about.

Photo by Colin Michael on Unsplash