The Way Forward

Written by Christopher Pentecost on March 10, 2024

So today’s sermon comes from what I would believe is a great prophet, Bob Marley, in which we invoke the words of “Three Little Birds”: “Don’t worry about a thing ‘cause everything is going to be all right.” I say this knowing that I am like one post already in the hole, and this one is being written late. But I can say it’s for good reason. When I started a new job about a month ago, I had training, which was about 9 to 5:00 Monday to Friday. Then, I ended up with a 4-day weekend, leading into my new shift, which is 4:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. So, I have a lot of time during the day, but a lot of that time gets spent doing all the things that you would try to do during the day. And seeing as I try to write these at night because that’s when I find my voice more often, it’s been a little delayed. So, I know I have to rearrange my schedule, and I know I have to set time aside to write these now in the daytime.

I did earlier this week find myself being like, “Oh, I’m going to miss this. I’m not going to hit my deadline. I’m not going to be able to keep up with this.” And all of those thoughts just continued to roll around in my head. At some point, on like a Tuesday afternoon, I was just needing to put some music on to sort of chill out, and Bob was in my mix. So, I threw on “Legend,” the greatest hits of Bob Marley and the Wailers (yes, we must not forget the Wailers). Probably one of the most, I would say, influential reggae bands. Even now, they’re still legendary musicians in their own right, even after the passing of Bob Marley. And I just closed my eyes and let the songs take me. Luckily, I came out of it more calm, peaceful, and assured that even though I was going to miss one post and that maybe the next one was going to be late, it sort of didn’t matter. And that everything was going to be all right, so I kind of just went with it.

Now, that’s not to say that schedules and holding yourself accountable and creating new habits due to a new sort of situation isn’t a good thing; totally is. And that’s what I’m sort of working on, is how do I balance this new schedule with sort of a new freedom in work-life balance. Now, I say that because most people would look at it and go, “Oh, well, 9 to 5 is what we’ve always worked, you know? It’s a thing. We go to work, we work throughout the day, and you know, we come home and we do stuff with the family at night.” But a lot of times, a lot of those things that we do with the family at night or on the weekend sort of bog us down from doing what we want to do. Most people who have children want to spend time with them, want to be present in their lives. Now, whether that’s taking them to soccer practice or dance lessons or just being there, you know, being a part of their time, a lot of that gets bogged down by the idea that, “Well, if I take him to soccer, I can drop him off, the coach will watch him, I can go get groceries, come back, maybe witness a couple of things, and then be able to go home and do those four other things that we’ve been meaning to do.” And I don’t think I would find that beneficial.

Just want to have the opportunity to take this shift. It was more along the lines of now I have time during the weekday to go grocery shopping when everyone else is at work, so I may not have to wait in long lines. I can take my time, walk around, pick up the things that I need. I’m not rushed, and I can get home, put everything away, and still have time to sit, read, maybe do some writing, maybe go out for that bike ride that I keep saying I need to get out and do, but I never can find the time. Well, now I can go bike riding in the sun instead of having to get up at 5:00 a.m. to ride during the sunrise. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do love that there’s a peacefulness at sunrise and sunset that just sort of reverberates with me, but I’m not limited to that now.

As the only one who drives in my household, I’m the one who needs to go and pick up things and do things. I can do that now without having to sort of worry about shoving kids in the car, making sure my wife’s with me. She can just text me a list, and then I can go, which also means I get to listen to the music I like in the car as loud as I would like it again. Bonus.

When I was unemployed last year, I found it easier to get up, take the kids to school, then go to the gym. It meant I was actually getting more hours of sleep, and I was still able to go to the gym, workout, feel more energetic, come home, make myself some brunch, and not feel rushed. I think that’s a good way of looking at my schedule now, even though it seems to be a little fuller than when I was unemployed. The fact that I don’t have to rush to anything, and we’re always under the gun of deadlines, work goals, aspirations, dreams, everything that just piles on our shoulders that we’re conditioned to make a priority. At this moment, for me, I don’t really have that. I don’t really have or feel, at least, that it’s sitting on my shoulders. I feel as if I have the time I need now to be able to focus on the things that I think I need to. One, my family, but then again, they’re always there, always going to be. I just need to juggle them in. But number two, and probably the most important one, is myself.

I have not focused on myself for a long, long time. And I believe that the last time I did focus on myself, I was drinking 7 days a week, and that was also not healthy. So what am I doing to focus on myself? Well, a few things. Still going to the gym. Physical health is a thing that my doctor keeps reminding me that, you know, it’s supposed to be important. So I’m continuing with my workout regimen, getting there 3 days a week, you know, pumping that iron. I will be adding in now some outdoor cardio, ‘cause when the weather gets nice, it’s just nice to get on the bike and go, you know? And I can put a good couple of hours into that every day, so it makes me feel good, also allows my brain to sort of process all the not so important things, and that’s a good thing for me.

The other thing I am now currently working on myself with is I’ve started going to see a therapist to sort of deal with a lot of the overwhelming symptoms of ADHD that I have sort of suppressed, I guess is a good way to put it. I have not really dealt with a lot of the things that I should have done or should have been fixed if I’d been diagnosed years ago. But it’s good to be able to talk with a professional where you can work these things out and then create healthier strategies on how to deal with them.

Now, going back to adjusting schedules and habits, we can touch on habits. I’m actually reading a book called “Hello Habits” by Fumio Sasaki, and he has been on this minimalist journey, and it’s something that has intrigued me over the past about 5 years. Since the pandemic started, I haven’t been fully sold to the minimalist life yet, but I have been making slight changes to my own way of living to try and declutter a lot of things. Decluttering is one of the first things in the minimalist sort of way of life to sort of get rid of all the things that you don’t need and surround yourself with the things that you need and some things that bring you joy. Now, I am not going through my wardrobe like Marie Kondo trying to figure out whether or not a shirt brings me joy, but I have started making relative shifts on what I need and distinguishing that between what I want. And it’s a process, a total process, but there are things that we can pull from minimalism that allow us to sort of shed a lot of the excess weight off of our shoulders and allow ourselves a little bit of peace and focus. So, I’m in sort of working in that realm, not fully buying into it, because like, ultimately, when I first started my working life in retail, especially clothing retail, it was always get the shorts, get the button-up, but always have a plain shirt to go underneath that button-up ‘cause layers. And yes, I did jazz hands when I said that. So, I’m still in that sort of mindset where, you know, I like things to be layered. Yes, like an onion or an ogre. I think it’s a way of creating a layer between myself and the people that are outside of myself. Sort of sounds like imposter syndrome. I think it just sounds like I have layers of armor, quite literally.

I wear the same jacket almost every day, and it’s because I feel comfortable in it and it sort of exudes a certain image of myself. But I also know that I would never wear a wool sweater without a shirt underneath ‘cause damn, that’s itchy. I’m scratching myself just thinking about it. While I’ve been talking about this, all I’ve been sort of semi-picturing in my head is Bill Murray in “What About Bob?” and being like, baby steps, baby steps. And truly, that is probably one of the smarter things that you can do, instead of jumping in full force because I’ve seen that, especially working at the gym when I did, and seeing other people sort of go full bore into something new, something that they seem to think is exciting, something that they’ve wrapped goals around, and then become frustrated when they’re not reaching those goals in the time that they’ve set ahead. And I used to do that in my, like, work life and my daily life and what. I would miss a day, like my calf muscle was strained and I couldn’t really walk well. Well, I couldn’t do leg day this week. Now, previously, I would have been like, oh man, now I’m a day behind in my leg workouts. This is throwing my schedule off, and it’s becoming horrible for me. Now, I look at it and go, it’s okay. My body needed to heal. The strain was telling me that something was wrong; it needed to heal. I can take that time because I will come out stronger on the other end instead of throwing myself into it and ruining my goals because now I can’t walk for a week. So, it’s the ever-shifting mindset that it takes time, and realizing that as it takes time, if we don’t give ourselves that time to do it, we get frustrated when it doesn’t happen sooner than we would want it to. I think that makes sense. I’ll leave that up to all the people who read this to say, no, that doesn’t make sense.

I feel very obligated to mention my wife, who over the last bunch of years, has been that steady part of my life that has allowed me to grow with this mindset. I don’t think she really gets the accolades that she deserves for putting up with me and allowing me the space to do certain things. I have been relatively convinced by a few people that maybe I should get back into singing because I enjoy it, and it’s been a very long while. The choir that I would join rehearses on Tuesdays, which is one of the nights my wife and I would have time together. When I brought it up to her, she went, “Do it. Go do it. You know, if it’s something you really want to do, go do it.” And it really sort of hit me that in a very long time, that was the first time anyone has ever fully gotten behind something that I wanted to do for me and was supportive of me doing that thing, even though it means one less night together. And that sort of has stuck with me. I’m still a little unsure if it’ll happen or not, but the choir is opening the 2025 season of Carnegie Hall in New York, and that, I think, would just look awesome, as opposed to be like, “Hey, I was in New York and I did a thing.” So, not totally sold, but being slightly dragged in a way that I might actually really consider it. So, it’s a big thank you to my wife Cindy. I appreciate her understanding me and putting up with me all these years. (Love you).

Okay, so where are we at? Let’s see. We’re adjusting schedules to suit a better work-life balance or reading about habits and how I’m going to be, you know, hopefully imparting what I pick up and interjecting into my life. I’ve shed a lot of the stress that comes with the everyday 9 to 5 grind and pushing myself to be more relaxed, more present, and more comfortable with where I am in the present moment. And I’m investing in talking with professionals about things and ways of dealing with the everyday situations that sort of get pushed to the wayside because I haven’t been able to deal with those things. All right, that sort of is a good space, and I just need to build on it. And I am also very aware that this is not going to happen overnight, but I’m okay with that because I started have to be. Changes can come quickly or slowly; it’s all about how we react to that change that allows us to move forward. (I think that’s the profound statement for this one). I do encourage everyone to at least find Bob Marley’s Greatest Hits, sit on the couch or a nice comfortable chair, maybe lay on the floor, put it on, let it play, and take notice of where you end up at the end of that album. There are a lot of layers in that album that, as you peel it all back, I think you can get to the one sort of meaning at the heart of what he was bringing forward. But I’m not here to tell you what that is because it’s different for everyone.